This should be fun.
Fireworks would be fun except for the collateral damage.
Just sit back and watch the fireworks. I did the same when my brother-in-law started dating someone 6 years younger than him. (he was 25, she was 19)... they've since had two kids together and never got married, and she is now in-fact taking him to court for child support and booted him out of her life. He's a jerk, and deserves all of the punishment he recieves. But they were both idiots, my brother for getting someone pregnant, twice, and the girl for staying with that abusive a-hole long enough to have 2 kids with him...
sorry.. had to rant... their whole situation angers me severely.
I'm putting this as anon not b/c you guys don't know who I am, but b/c people can now read without logging in and I don't want this randomly read online with my handle attached to it.
Let me start this by saying I didn't have an affair. I didn't have cyber sex with anyone. The closest anything was to happening was my hands brushed his hands when I handed him something.
Here's the situation. I posted something randomly on FB and someone I never talk to who I barely know asked me about it in a private message which is now the same as chat.
Somehow the chat got to be about my high school and then about my college and then somehow about a 'have you ever' done various things
and somehow I ended up kinda pouring my heart out to this guy who I barely know
and I don't know how it happened.
He asked me for marriage advice about how to get his wife to give him a bj. which, also, I don't know how that came up in conversation.
Anyway, I somehow brought up some of the conversation to my husband that night, and he said he prefers I not talk about such things with other men, which I understand. That night, my husband and I had pretty much the best sex of our marriage. Certainly the best in at least 3 years.
Anyway, this man and I continued talking online back and forth, and I know at least once he was aroused, though he didn't say it specifically. We were pretty clean in our language, and there wasn't any suggestion that anything would ever happen between us - more general talk about what we liked, what our spouses liked, what we'd done in the past, that kind of thing.
One morning, he had a medical test done, and afterward he asked if he could stop at my house for a cup of coffee. After some back and forth, I agreed that he could come as long as he kept the door open and only stayed as long as it took me to make the coffee. He abided by those terms. I made him coffee, and gave him some cookies that I had in the house, and other than handing him the coffee and cookies, we didn't touch at all, and he left immediately after.
Then I talked to the guy online again. He admitted that he's feeling like he's in a rut and he's looking for excitement, and I told him that while I'm all for excitement, I prefer to get mine on roller-coasters and that neither of us is prepared to deal with the fallout of an actual affair, so let's not play with fire. The reality is that an affair isn't only if you bump uglies. It's about emotions and complications and we were getting into territory we don't belong in. So we've agreed to talk much less, if at all.
All this leaves me just one question. Should I tell my husband about the coffee? Or should I not? If I tell him, then I know that it was no big deal. If I don't, then it starts to build up some kind of meaning in my mind. The door was open, it was 3 minutes, and we never touched. It was really nothing. And it won't happen again. If it really meant nothing, though, I wouldn't need to tell my husband...hmmph.
ok. I sound like a troll drama queen. just ignore me.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Let's discuss it over coffee.
But look at the bright side: in 99 years you and your husband will be dead, your kids will be dead and anybody who knew you will be dead, and it won't matter anymore.
so ignore the problem and it will go away by itself.
I keep talking to this guy. It keeps getting worse. I feel awful about it. But I keep doing it.
I need some kind of ... like addiction support group to get me off of this.
At this point, I actually can't tell my husband what's been going on. I just need to somehow stop it.
I'm terribly lonely and this guy talks to me and keeps me company. It's hard to give that up.
Ok guys, you're my friends. Yell at me and tell me that I have to unfriend him on Facebook and never talk to him again.
the problem is that I work from home - I work alone - no co-workers. I'm trying to start up a work-together group once a week, which might help alleviate the loneliness a little. But the truth is that my husband and I barely talk when he is home. The kids are up too late and when they finally go to sleep, we end up retreating to our respective computers and not being together at all.
well, anonymous, I think now we know a point you should talk to your husband about with: You're feeling loneley. So loneley that it manifests that way.
You might consiously want it to remain innocent, but in all likelihood, this guy isn't in the same mindset. And sub-consciously you've already pointed out that you probably aren't either.
End it. Done. Now. There's your being yelled at. Only once by the way. Further requests will be considered purposeful requests to prolong the drama.
no coworking space around?
ok. defriended. told husband. am now completely miserable.
husband is pissed at me and no longer have this other guy to talk to.
I realize I brought this on myself, but it doesn't make me feel less miserable.
Am trying to figure out a good way to kill myself. Thinking of mixing statins and grapefruit in large quantities. I wonder if that really works.
Is your husband aware of why you wanted some company?
I mean, he does love you, I presume.
Husband is trying to be understanding and somehow that actually makes me feel guiltier and worse. grapefruit juice and statins wouldn't work.
need to find a better solution.
statins look like a poor choice.
I have good drugs. there should be something I can use. I've got all kinds of neurotoxins. I've got ritalin and topomax and lyrica and two different kinds of antidepressants... I should be able to overdose on some of them...
IS this a joke? Because talking about suicide is not funny and should be taken seriously.
whew, thats starting to sound like romeo and juliet.