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[#] Thu Jul 05 2007 23:53:18 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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I love you, you love me, we're a dysfunctional family...

[#] Sat Jul 07 2007 18:29:53 EDT from fxflynn @ Uncensored

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California Dreamin' (Mama's & Papas) 

All the leaves are brown
And the sky is grey
I went for a walk
On a winter's day
I'd be safe and warm
If I was in L.A.
California dreamin'
On such a winter's day

I stopped into a church (stopped into a church)
I passed along the way (passed along the way)
You know, I got down on my knees (got down on my knees)
And I pretend to pray (I pretend to pray)
Oh, the preacher likes the cold (preacher likes the cold)
He knows I'm gonna stay (knows I'm gonna stay)
Oh, California dreamin' (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day

All the leaves are brown (the leaves are brown)
And the sky is grey (and the sky is grey)
I went for a walk (I went for a walk)
On a winter's day (on a winter's day)
If I didn't tell her (if I didn't tell her)
I could leave today (I could leave today)

Oh, California dreamin' (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day

 



[#] Wed Aug 08 2007 09:36:50 EDT from girthta @ Uncensored

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I think its getting to the point
Where I can be myself again
I think its getting to the point
Where we have almost made amends
I think its the getting to the point
That is the hardest part.

And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

You think I only think about you
When we're both in the same room
You think I'm only here to witness
The remains of love exhumed
You think we're here to play
A game of who loves more than whom

And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

You think it's only fair to do what's
Best for you and you alone
You think it's only fair to do the same
To me when youre not home
I think its time to make this something that is
More than only fair

So if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I'll point you home.

But I'm warning you, don't ever do
Those crazy, messed up things that you do
If you ever do
I promise you I'll be the first to crucify you
Now it's time to prove that you've come back
Here to rebuild.

[#] Wed Aug 22 2007 21:40:53 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

Subject: Sofa (FZ)

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I am the heaven
I am the water
Ich bin der Dreck unter deinen Walzen
(Oh no, whip it on me, honey!)
Ich bin dein geheimer Schmutz
Und verlorenes Metallgeld
(Metallgeld)
Ich bin deine Ritze
Ich bin deine Ritze und Schlitze

I am the clouds
I am embroidered
Ich bin der Autor aller Felgen
Und Damast Paspeln
Ich bin der Chrome Dinette
Ich bin der Chrome Dinette
Ich bin Eier aller Arten

Ich bin alle Tage und Nächte
Ich bin alle Tage und Nächte

Ich bin hier (AIEE-AH!)
Und du bist mein Sofa
Ich bin hier (AIEE-AH!)
Und du bist mein Sofa
Ich bin hier (AIEE-AH!)
Und du bist mein Sofa

Yeah-ha-ha-ay
Yah-ha
Yeah, my Sofa
Yeah-ha-hey



[#] Fri Aug 24 2007 12:36:20 EDT from dothebart @ Uncensored

Subject: Re:Sofa (FZ)

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thats pretty weird!

[#] Fri Aug 24 2007 17:21:45 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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I'd love to have a better command of german pronunciation, just for this song alone.

This said, I intend to speak the English translation of the whole thing into a mic later. I think I have a way of speaking these lyrics that would be about as amusing as the menacing Boar's Head Carol I spoke earlier this year.

[#] Sat Aug 25 2007 22:01:33 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Here's a long one.  It's the full lyrics to a piece of music I've only heard in bits.  Consequently, it's rather long.  And parts of it were meant to be spoken.

However, dothebart will probably marvel at how badly Frank Zappa abuses the German language:

FZ: This is a piece for those of you in the audience who happen to speak German. And if you do happen to speak German after this piece you'll probably regret it . . .

One, two, three . . .

FZ: Once upon a time, way back a long time ago, when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than Mark Maroon . . .
Mark: Oh, thank you Frank. Hiya, friends! What a life! I can't begin to tell you. I mean, today as I was walking here, just like every place else I go, people walk up to me and they go, "Mark, Mark, Mark." (Bark! Bark! Bark!) A hare-lipped dog. "Mark, are you kidding?" And all I can say back to them is friends, friends, I am not kidding. I feel great. I mean I'm portly, and I'm maroon. What else could you ask for? Can anybody here in this audience, in our vast audience back there, even you in the cheap seats, can you guess what I am?
Howard: No, we can't guess what you are
Jim: We can't guess what you are
Mark: Well then, I'll give each and every one of you some clues. Clue number one (and I've already given this away), I am portly, Clue number one. I am portly, I am clue number one.
(Mark! Mark!)
Howard: I still don't know who you are
Mark: OK, then I'll give you clue number two, and this is very important to the girls in the audience, I am double knit.
Mothers & Audience: Ohhhhh
Mark: I stretch. And clue number three . . .
Howard: Still don't know who you are, though
Mark: Well, I was gonna to give ya the clue anyway
FZ: Does it matter with a response like that?
Mark: Clue number three, and these are for the people standing right in front the vocal PA-mike, ICH BIN MAROON!
Howard: Ahhhh, Why didn't you say so!

FZ: Once upon a time, way back a long time ago, way back when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than Mark Maroon . . .
Mark: Thank you, Frank, hiya friends.
FZ: Trying to convince each and every member of this audience here tonight that he was nothing more, nothing less than a fat maroon sofa suspended in the midst of a vast emptiness, a light shineth down from Heaven. And who should appear but the Good Lord himself and his faithful Saint Bernard, Wendell.
Howard?: Down Wendell, down!
FZ: And he was feeling fine that day. And if there was one thing that he could use It would be a nice sofa for him and Wendell. And he looked at the sofa, and he said unto himself, "This sofa is all right except that what it needs is a floor." And so in order to attain the floor, he consulted with the celestial corps of engineers and addressed them formally with a little song in Deutsch, because that is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business, take it away, God . . .

Gib zu mir etwas Fußbodenbelag
Unter diesem fetten, fließenden Sofa
(Everybody!)
Gib zu mir etwas Fußbodenbelag
Unter diesem fetten, fließenden Sofa

FZ: And of course that means, "Give unto to me a bit of flooring underneath of this fat floating sofa." And sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness as far as vision permits, stretching all the way from Fondue Central up on top of the hill, right down to the front door of the Excelsior Hotel. And the Lord proceeded to deliver unto the sofa a brief lecture that will set forth in specific language, the sum total of all of
their future relationships, including options, with an electric clarinet.

Yeah!

Ich bin der Himmel
(This goes out to Urban Gwerder in the box)
Ich bin das Wasser
Ich bin der Dreck unter deinen Walzen
Ich bin dein geheimer Schmutz
Und verlorenes Metallgeld (Metallgeld)
Unter deine Ritze
Ich bin deine Ritze und [Britze]

Ich bin Wolken
Ich bin bestickt
Ich bin der Autor aller Felgen
Und Damast Paspeln
Ich bin der chrome dinette
Ich bin der chrome dinette
Ich bin Eier aller Arten

Ich bin alle Tage und Naechte
Ich bin alle Tage und Naechte

Ich bin hier
Und du bist mein Sofa
(AIEE-AH!)
Ich bin hier
Und du bist mein Sofa
(AIEE-AH!)
Ich bin hier
Und du bist mein Sofa

FZ: I am here and you are my sofa

Eddie, are you kidding me?
Eddie, are you kidding me?
Eddie, are you kidding me?

Ein Licht scheint vom Himmel herab
Kometen und alle rasenden Truemmer
Dunkle Gase und tiefgefrorene negative aus [...]
Zittern bei der Ankunft des Herren

FZ: A light shines down from Heaven, a dense ecumenical patina at the right hand of God's big sofa. And the Lord put aside his huge cigar and considered it was time now to entertain himself on that Heavenly afternoon with the sofa, Wendell, his girlfriend -- who was a little bit short --, and her assistant Squat, the magic pig. And he did it like this:

Bring her zu mir
Das kurze Maedchen

FZ: Bring unto me the short girl

Und Squat, das magische Schwein

FZ: And Squat the magic pig. And the big light, because we're gonna make a home movie.

Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
Du miserabler Hurensohn
Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten schwanz
Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!
([...] guys)
Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
Du miserabler Hurensohn
Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten schwanz
Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!

Mach es sehr schnell
Rein und raus
Mach es sehr schnell
Rein und raus
Mach es sehr schnell
Rein und raus
Magisches Schwein
Mach es sehr schnell
Rein und raus
Magisches Schwein
Bis es spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
Feuer!
Bis es spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
Feuer!
Bis es spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
Feuer!
Bis es spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
Feuer!
Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
(Oh-wo-wo-wo-ow)
Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
(Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa)
Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!

Armed Forces Radio, Radio Free Europe

Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch
You ugly son of a bitch
Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch
Stick it out
Stick out yer hot curly weenie
Stick it out
Stick out yer hot curly weenie
Stick it out
Stick out yer hot curly weenie
Weenie . . . weenie, weenie, weenie!
Make it go fast
In and out
Make it go real fast
In and out
Make it go real fast
In and out
Magical Pig
Make it go real fast
In and out
Magical Pig
Till it squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts
Fire
Till it squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts
Fire
Till it squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts
Fire
(Three Dog Night)
Till it squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts
Fire
But don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
(Don't get no jizz upon that sofa)
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
(Don't get no jizz upon that sofa)
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
Please me!

I'm not a groupie!
I'm not a groupie!
I'm not a groupie!
I'm not a groupie!
I'm not a groupie!

I HEAR AND OBEY, SHORT GIRL.

FZ: Sheets of fire, ladies and gentlemen

Lachen von Feuer

FZ: Sheets of real fire

Lachen von Feuer

FZ: Sheets of fried water, which is a new form of fondue

Lachen von gebratenen Wasser

FZ: And the Lord causeth the short girl to kneel and make mysterious gestures near the reproductive orifice of Squat the magic pig, and proceeded to broadcast her pure sweet voice throughout his greatest new PA system all over the Alps and everything (yodel)

Fick mich, Schwein
Bis meine Orchester dunkles Gas bläst
Funken schießem heraus
Sich Nebel lassen Hort

FZ: And for our boys in uniform that means, "Fuck me, swine, until my orchestra blows dark gas, sparks shoot out, and nebulas are revealed." Along with sheets of fire.

Lachen von Feuer

FZ: Sheets of fried water

Lachen von gebratenen Wasser

FZ: Sheets of drywall and roofing

Lachen von Drywall und Roofing

FZ: Sheets of large deep-fried rumba

Lachen von riesigen, tief-gefrorenen Rumba

FZ: A light shines down from Heaven. A dense ecumenical bandana at the right hand of God's big rumba . . . And his voice pronounceth out in sheets of plywood and bales of old sportshirts

(Vot dooz he say?)

FZ: And he says in the middle of his delirious stupor

Beklecker nicht
Beklecker nicht
Beklecker nicht
Beklecker nicht
Mein Sofa!

FZ: Obviously meaning, "Don't get no jizz on the sofa." It is now time for the bales of imported unmiti-con, unmitigated zircon fondue.

Ballen von Zecken (Fondu)
Und alten Sporthemden, Sporthemden, Sporthemden (Fondu)
Lachen von Feuer (Fondu)
Lachen von Gummi (Fondu)
Lachen von Tränen (Fondu)
Lachen von Kataloge mit Klistierspritze, Spritze, Spritze, Spritze, Spritze, Spritze (Fondu, Fondu, Fondu, Fondu)



[#] Sun Aug 26 2007 17:53:21 EDT from dothebart @ Uncensored

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hm, the most of it is pretty senseless, as the english inbetween too?

one thing... he says 'metallgeld'/'metalmoney' you wouldn't say that in german,  you'd say 'Muenzgeld'/'CoinMoney'



[#] Sun Aug 26 2007 21:11:08 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Probably, not being a native speaker of German, he got the translation a little messed up.

But, yeah, it's a pretty silly tune, all things considered.  And a bit dirty. 



[#] Tue Sep 11 2007 12:59:38 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
gonna grab some afternoon delight.
My motto's always been; when it's right, it's right.
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night.
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day.
And you know the night is always gonna be there any way.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
looking forward to a little afternoon delight.
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
and the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
a little afternoon delight.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

Please be waiting for
me baby when I come around.
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down.

Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.

-- Afternoon Delight, Starlight Vocal Band

(I can't get this fucking tune out of my head).

[#] Tue Sep 11 2007 13:01:09 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Although, in my version of the tune, the very last time they sing the lyrics 'Afternoon delight', with that big chorus bit that grows on the syllable '*A*fternoon', I can hear, in my mind, a scream.

[#] Tue Sep 11 2007 14:57:15 EDT from Ragnar Danneskjold @ Uncensored

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While listening to XM Radio's Blueville Station today, I heard this lovely
little number:

Bill - Peggy Scott-Adams


All of you ladies out there turn up your radio
Girls, I'm about to tell you something You may wanna know
You know things they're not always
What they appear to be
And I don't want to happen to you
What happened to me

Listen, There are no words that can describe, what I felt inside
When I found out the man I loved loved another guy
We were at a party, Ohh to have a little fun
But when I looked around my-my man was missing
I walked outside, I couldn't believe my eyes
He was in Bill's arms breathin hard and french kissin

I was ready for Mary, Susan, Helen and Jane
When all the time it was Bill who was sleeping with my man

Bill has been to my house a thousand times
He and my man would go camping and fishing
Oh I tell you it never crossed my mind
Bill was a friend and he was
God Uncle to my only son

Now it looks Uncle Billy wants to be his step-mom

Now you see I was ready for Mary, I was ready for Jane
How do a woman compete with a man for another man

I asked my man why didnt you tell me that you were gay
when you knew, knew I build my world around you
I knew I had those feelings and I didn't want it to be
I thought by being with you, Girl I thought it would change
As tears came to my eyes, hesays I'm sorry I hurt you so
I got to pack Bill is waiting for me and I got to go

I was ready for Mary, I was ready for Jane
When all the time it was Bill who was sleeping with my man

I don't feel ashame and I don't take the blame
My man was just a queen, he was a Queen that thought he was a King
He told before he left he said
I know you're hurt and oh I know you're mad
But if that's not asking too much,
could you tell my son I love him and I'm still his dad

I was
ready for Mary, Susan, Helen and Jane
When all the time it was Bill who was sleeping with my man

I was ready for Mary, Susan, Helen and Jane
When all the time it was Bill who was sleeping with my man
Bill used to come over to my house, I used to fix him my food
I used to loan Bill my money, all the time he was in there tryin to get
my honey

[#] Fri Sep 14 2007 21:57:02 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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As the dust settles, see our dreams,
all coming true
it depends on you,
If our times, they are troubled times,
show us the way,
tell us what to do.

As our faith, maybe aimless blind,
hope our ideals
and our thoughts are yours
And believing the promises,
please make your claims
really so sincere.

Be our guide, our light and our way of life
and let the world see the way we lead our way.
Hopes, dreams, hopes dreaming that all our
sorrows gone.

In your hands, holding everyone's
future and fate
It is all in you,
Make us strong build our unity,
all men as one
it is all in you.

Be our guide, our light and our way of life
and let the world see the way we lead our way.
Hopes, dreams, dreaming that all our sorrows
gone... forever.

-- Gentle Giant's 'Aspirations' from "The Power And The Glory".

Easily one of the scariest songs I've ever heard.  Utterly beautiful, yet creepy once you get what they're really singing about. 



[#] Fri Oct 19 2007 20:46:24 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her as long it's free
Yeah, She steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me

CHORUS
Ohhh... she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time
Ohhh... and she never gives out
And she never gives in, she just changes her mind

And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding
But she’ll bring out the best and the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always a woman to me

CHORUS

She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you,
But she's always a woman to me

-- Billy Joel's "Always A Woman To Me".

I used to think of my mother whenever I heard this song, except I'd get the world 'always' in the title confused with the word 'only'.

When you do that, it's the perfect song for misogenists.  And probably the most perfect expression of my experience with most women in my life, my sister being the only exception. 



[#] Thu Nov 01 2007 14:59:46 EDT from Spell Binder @ Uncensored

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Ahhh...Billy Joel.

Though I can certainly see how the song could be misoginistic, I always thought that that one line "But she's always a woman to me" seemed to say that for all the faults and cruelty a woman can have, they can be worked through to find the woman's true soul.

But then, I am a bit of a romantic and an optimist.
Billy Binder

[#] Thu Nov 01 2007 15:16:08 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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That's exactly how the original lyrics go, and how they should be interpreted.

But I loved to change that one word from 'always' to 'only', which completely changes the entire message of the song.

[#] Fri Nov 02 2007 14:51:49 EDT from girthta @ Uncensored

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you just haven't found my wounds yet, but I've been delightfully watching them bleed for 38 years!

[#] Fri Nov 02 2007 14:53:18 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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It helps if you don't pick at the scabs.

[#] Fri Nov 02 2007 14:53:57 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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(or allow others to pick at them)

[#] Thu Nov 22 2007 23:32:57 EST from Ygorl @ Uncensored

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[Dennis Hopper]
Once upon a time at the foot of a great mountain
There was a town where the people known as Happyfolk lived
Their very existence a mystery to the rest of the world
Obscured as it was by great clouds
Here they played out their peaceful lives
Innocent of the litany of excess and violence, that was growing in the world below
To live in harmony with the spirit of the mountain called Monkey was enough

Then one day, Strangefolk arrived in the town
They came in camouflage, hidden behind dark glasses
But no one noticed them, they only saw shadows
You see, without the Truth of the Eyes, the Happyfolk were blind...

g out of aeroplanes and hiding out in holes
Waiting for the sunset to come, people going home
Jump back from behind them, and shoot them in the head
Now everybody dancing, the dance of the dead
The dance of the dead, the daaaaaaance of the dead

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