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[#] Wed Sep 20 2006 11:19:37 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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[#] Wed Oct 04 2006 13:33:39 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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WANNA BE UR LOVR
By Al Yankovic

I don't have a library card
But do you mind if I check you out?
I like your skeletal structure, baby
You're an ectomorph, no doubt
Your face is real symmetrical
And your nostrils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed
So I could see you twice

Girl, you smell like Fritos
That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt
The elastic in my underwear
I'll bet you're magically delicious
Like a bowl of Lucky Charms
You'd look like Venus de Milo
If I just cut off your arms
What I'm tryin' to say is...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now I need somebody to love

Do you believe in love at fist sight
Or should I walk by again?
My love for you's like diarrhea
I just can't hold it in
Stop, drop and roll now
'Cause baby, you're on fire
I'll bet your outfit
Makes a lot of noise
in the drier

You're absolutely perfect
Don't speak now, you might spoil it
Your eyes are even bluer
Than the water in my toilet
Say, has anyone ever told you
You've got Yugoslavian hands?
No, of course not, that would be stupid
Just forget I ever brought it up
The point I'm trying to make is...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now I need somebody to love

I wanna be your Krakatoa
Let my lava flow all over you
I wanna be your anaconda
And your heat-seeking missile too
I wanna be your beef burrito
Am I making this perfectly clear?
I wanna be your love torpedo
Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?
Uh huh

I hope I'm not being forward
But do you mind if I chew on your butt?
You can tell me truthfully
Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what?
There just aren't enough o's in "smooth"
To describe how smooth I am
Maybe you've
seen my picture
It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!"
My lips are registered weapons
Can I invade your personal space?
You must have fallen from heaven
That would explain how you messed up your face
Well, how'd you get through security?
'Cause baby, you're the bomb
I'd like to take you home right now
So you can meet my mom
Because I...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now I need somebody to love

Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaican me crazy
Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaican me crazy

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now I need somebody to love

[#] Thu Oct 12 2006 14:00:07 EDT from girthta @ Uncensored

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for the newly-weds:


"Promises"

When I think about the turn my life has taken
I know it's because of you, that I receive so many blessings
I had a home but no privacy, I didn't know a thing about my legacy
When I realized you were there for me, I called on your name and you came
And you did, just what you said, for that I'll love you forever
You kept, your word to me, for that I'll love you forever

[Chorus]
A promise, is a promise in my eyes
Can't say you're gonna just to compromise
The very thing that keeps two hearts intertwined
A promise is a promise you can't deny, there's no way

I think of when there was a young boy, not even two years old
Blessed with a mother who loved him so, she abandoned her dreams to nourish his own
It wasn't easy for the two of them, but she knew she had to give him a chance
At a better life, it was only right, so she worked and she prayed
And she did, just what she say, for that he'll love her forever
She kept her word to him, for that he'll love her forever

[Chorus]
A promise is a promise, in my eyes
Can't say you're gonna just to compromise
The very thing that keeps two hearts intertwined
A promise is a promise you can't deny, there's no way
A man's only as good as his word

[Instrumental break]

Her wedding day and she's thinking 'bout the way he won her affection
She was so cynical about love 'cause she didn't want to be heart broken again
He looked her in her eye with sincerity, said he only wanted to protect her so she
Took a chance on him and she's glad she did because he came for real
And he did, just what he said, for that she'll love him forever
He kept his word to her, for that she'll love him forever

[Chorus]
A promise is a promise, in my eyes
Can't say you're gonna just to compromise
The very thing that keeps two hearts intertwined
A promise is a promise you can't deny, there's no way
No way, there ain't no way
A man's only as good as his word



[#] Tue Oct 24 2006 11:36:41 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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While we're at it, we have a sort of a cowboy song we'd like to do for ya. This
is a song that deals with the rapidly approaching 200th birthday of the united
states of america, ladies and gentlemen. This is a song that warns you in
advance, that next year, everybody is gonna try and sell you things that maybe
you shouldn't ought to buy, and not only that, they've been planning it for
years. The name of this song is (pardon me), Poofters Froth, Wyoming, Plans
Ahead.

Poofters Froth, Wyoming,
March Eleven Sixty-Seven
Take a letter, Miss Abetter
as our pigeons will be homin'.

To our jobbers in Dakota
And to Merwyn, Minnesota
This is merely just a note about
Performance to our quota

Well, we've all come out to show dem,
And the Elks have helped us
Load 'em
Little packets full of jackets
Little rackets, little rackets

Little Poofter-Cloth Appointments
Little Pofter's Froth Anointments
Little
hoods, little goods
Little doo-dads from the woods

The entire stock is shipping
Oh our shod is hardly slipping
To the markets of the world
Our wrinkled pennants are unfurled!

T-shirt racks, rubber snacks,
Poster rolls with matching tacks
Yes, a special beer for sports
(and paper cups that hold two quarts)

Everything a nation needs
For making hoopla while it feeds
The trash compactors, small reactors,
Mowers, blowers, throwers & the glowers:

This is Buy-Cent-Any-All Salute(HYULK!)
Two hundred years have gone ka-poot!
Ah but we have been astute!
Signed: Anon. - Wyo. Galoot!

-- Frank Zappa/Capn. Beefheart's _Poofter's Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead_

[#] Fri Oct 27 2006 09:16:50 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Half-an-hour later, she unfrenched his fry.

[#] Fri Dec 01 2006 08:16:43 EST from fleeb @ Uncensored

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1. Lullay, Thou little tiny Child,
By, by, lully, lullay.
Lullay, Thou little tiny Child.
By, by, lully, lullay.

2. O sisters, too, how may we do,
For to preserve this day;
This poor Youngling for whom we sing,
By, by, lully, lullay.

3. Herod the King, in his raging,
Charged he hath this day;
His men of might, in his own sight,
All children young, to slay.

4. Then woe is me, poor Child, for Thee,
And ever mourn and say;
For Thy parting, nor say nor sing,
By, by, lully, lullay.

-- The Coventry Carol, lyrics by Robert Croo, 1534

[#] Fri Dec 15 2006 17:31:17 EST from penguinkraft @ Uncensored

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nice!

[#] Fri Dec 15 2006 17:54:59 EST from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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O Come, O Come, Emmanuel ... like a light bulb!


[#] Thu Jan 11 2007 13:39:54 EST from fleeb @ Uncensored

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That's what you get for loving me
That's what you get for loving me
Well everything you had is gone, as you can see
That's what you get for loving me

I ain't the kind to hang around
With every new love that I've found
Moving is my stock in trade I'm moving on,
I won't think of you when I'm gone

So don't you shed a tear for me
I ain't the love you thought I'd be
I've had a hundred more like you, so don't be blue
I'll have a thousand 'fore I'm thru

Now, there you go, You're crying again
Now there you go, you're crying again
Well some day when your poor heart is on the mend
I just might pass this way again

That's what you get for loving me
That's what you get for loving me
Well everything you had is gone, as you can see
That's what you get for loving me.

-- Irene Adler

Er, Gorden Lightfoot, rather.

[#] Fri Jan 12 2007 10:14:35 EST from wizard of aahz @ Uncensored

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fleeb - Have you been reading Sherlock Homes again?

[#] Fri Jan 12 2007 10:19:22 EST from fleeb @ Uncensored

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No. But while I was visiting my sister, Rayne, girthta, and I played Clue together.

[#] Fri Jan 12 2007 10:28:24 EST from wizard of aahz @ Uncensored

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There's an Irene Adler in clue?

[#] Fri Jan 12 2007 10:29:46 EST from fleeb @ Uncensored

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From the perspective of my sister and me, there should be.

And if there were, it would reduce the game to just trying to figure out where, and with what weapon.

[#] Fri Jan 12 2007 12:14:56 EST from LoanShark @ Uncensored

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Thomas Dolby was quite an unusual fellow... I've got several MP3's (which Peter Pulse might recognize from one "Daoist"'s collection)... they're all very atypical for 80s music...

[#] Fri Jan 12 2007 14:16:08 EST from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?

Do you get what you're hoping for?
When you look behind you, there's no open doors
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?

Once, we were standing still in time
Chasin' the fantasies that filled our minds
You knew how I loved you but my spirit was free
Laughin' at the questions that you once asked of me

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?

Now, looking back at all we've planned,
We let so many dreams just slip through our hands
Why must we wait so long before we'll see?
How sad the answers to those questions can be

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?

Do you get what you're hoping for?
When you look behind
you, there's no open doors
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?

-- Theme from Mahogany, a beautiful, wrist-slitting tune

[#] Mon Jan 15 2007 00:13:21 EST from Ladyhawke @ Uncensored

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Wow.  One of my Mom's favorites, actually....could almost hear her sitting at the piano...

I think the wrist-slitting quality of the melody was always what drove her to follow it with "Getting to Know You", which is as wrist-slittingly silly as Theme from Mahogany is depressing. 



[#] Mon Jan 15 2007 00:49:44 EST from triLcat @ Uncensored

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My mom said that the first time she heard it was when she was driving to my grandmother's funeral (my dad's mother).

She was one of those daughters-in-law who preferred talking to her mother-in-law over talking to her mother. Wrist-slitting music for a wrist-slitting mood.



[#] Mon Jan 15 2007 08:19:11 EST from fleeb @ Uncensored

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I like to sing Mahogany as if I were retarded. Really takes the edge off of it.

[#] Fri Jan 19 2007 08:00:55 EST from girthta @ Uncensored

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He’s lived as long as he possibly can
Given the circumstance.
Because he’s protected himself from the world
He never gave it a chance, and he says

Here in my security
I’ve put a limit on my self-potential and my possibility.

She’s seen these walls and they never change
Everything’s in its place.
Her relationships so neatly arranged
Down to religion and race, and she says

Here in my security
I don’t make a move unless my friends approve, I do what’s expected of me.

And as I grow older, and there’s so much that I do not know…
I’m drawn to those who are older, and go where no one dared to go.

And I Sleep, and I dream of the person I might have been, and I’ll be free again
And I Speak, like someone who’s been to the highest peaks, and back again
And I Swear, that my grass is greener than anyone’s, until I believe again
Then I Wake, and the dream fades away and I face the day and I realize
That there’s got to be some hero in me, there’s got to be some hero in me,
there’s got to be some hero in me, there’s got to be some hero in me.

They’ve been suppressing their every desire,
They do nothing on a whim
She’s lost her sparkle and he’s lost the fire
Their future looks very dim, and I say

Here in my security
I’ve simply let myself go out, develop a cold dependency

And as I grow older, and so many places that I have not been…
Time is tapping my shoulder, I hope its never too late to begin.

And I Sleep, and I dream of the person I might have been, and I’ll be free again
And I Speak, like someone who’s been to the highest peaks, and back again
And I Swear, that my grass is greener than anyone’s, until I believe again
Then I Wake, and the dream fades away and I face the day and I realize
That there’s got to be some hero in me, there’s got to be some hero in me,
there’s got to be some hero in me, there’s got to be some hero in me

[#] Tue Feb 06 2007 14:24:45 EST from girthta @ Uncensored

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I know you may not want to see me
On your way down from the clouds
Would you hear me if I told you
That my heart is with you now

She's only happy in the sun
She's only happy in the sun

Did you find what you were after?
The pain and the laughter brought you to your knees
But if the sun sets you free, sets you free
You'll be free indeed, Indeed

She's only happy in the sun
She's only happy in the sun

Every time I hear you laughing, I hear you laughing
It makes me cry
Like the story of life, of your life
Is hello, goodbye

Shes only happy in the sun
Shes only happy in the sun

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