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[#] Sun Oct 16 2011 18:03:36 EDT from Ladyhawke @ Uncensored

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Hope your dad gets well soon



[#] Mon Oct 17 2011 09:47:07 EDT from skpacman @ Uncensored

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A man is pulled over by a younger female officer.

The man asks "whaz teh probbelm officerr?"

Officer: "I pulled you over because you were drifting and swerving dangerously. And I can smell booze on your breath. You're required to take a breathalizer test"

The test commenses.

Officer: "You're under arrest for Driving Under the Influence of Alcohol. Anything you say can and will be held against you......" (before she could finish)

The man: "YOUR BOOBS!"



[#] Wed Dec 14 2011 17:48:36 EST from fleeb @ Uncensored

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If you liked the Bill Bailey tune in the Music room, you might also appreciate this (which is not musical, hence this room):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTU_RluZvBw

(Bill Bailey's _3 Bloke Joke_ from 1997's Cosmic Jam).

[#] Sun Jan 15 2012 00:41:39 EST from swc @ Uncensored

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René Descartes is sitting at a bar. bartender says, how about another?  René says, I think not...Then disapears.

 



[#] Mon Jan 16 2012 14:28:45 EST from skpacman @ Uncensored

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Sun Jan 15 2012 12:41:39 AM ESTfrom swc @ Uncensored

René Descartes is sitting at a bar. bartender says, how about another?  René says, I think not...Then disapears.


heh, that took me a while but I got it.

good one swc



[#] Fri Feb 10 2012 08:45:05 EST from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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(I drink, therefore I am?)

[#] Mon Mar 05 2012 22:45:19 EST from fleeb @ Uncensored

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So, today I figured out that the reason we have nasal cavities is because we never brush our nose.

[#] Tue Mar 06 2012 11:32:34 EST from zooer @ Uncensored

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ba-dump-tish

[#] Tue Mar 06 2012 12:50:39 EST from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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may need to add that to the personal hygiene regimen. :-)

[#] Wed May 09 2012 20:11:38 EDT from Sig @ Uncensored

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Not properly jokes, but these were some amusing headlines that I came across while searching for bad headlines for a
class I'm writing.

Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons

Missippi's Literacy Program Shows Improvement

Man Executed After Long Speech

Chick Accuses Some of Her Male Colleagues of Sexism
[Los Angeles Councilwoman Laura Chick, to be specific]

Man Accused of Killing Lawyer Receives New Attorney

One-Armed Man Applauds Kindness of Strangers

Utah Poison Control Center Reminds Everyone Not to Take Poison

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
[My favorite.]

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[A novel approach.]

----

(There were quite a few more that were quite inappropriate for work, so I didn't save them...)

[#] Wed May 09 2012 20:19:45 EDT from zooer @ Uncensored

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Having worked in the media I can tell you that anchors think they are unbelievable clever when they write silly or stupid
headlines/teases.

[#] Thu May 10 2012 01:36:46 EDT from Sig @ Uncensored

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I get to specifically call those out as not useful for our purposes, so that works fine. I was hoping to find more that were not "soft" titles, but just bad ones--that is, not descriptive or helpful for determining the content.
I had enough to work with, though.

[#] Thu May 10 2012 15:38:22 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Oh, hrm... pity I didn't see that earlier. Best of the worst headlines I've ever seen involved the Royals baseball team in 1985.

Seems their star player (Peters) had too many infractions, and was disqualified from playing. Ergo, the headline read:

Royals To Play With Peters Out

[#] Sun May 20 2012 08:52:06 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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So a group of us were playing poker, and I drew a ATI Radeon HD 5770. This worked well with my hand, as my other cards were ATI, so that would lead to a flush of the video buffers. I betted another AMD chip, but John raised me an Intel.

In the end, my flush beat his two pair (two nVidia GTX 690s and two ATI Radeon HD 5450s) so I won all the chips. That was when I noticed someone slipped in a Z-80, which was really low. I guess that got through the pipeline, so I'll have to remember to turn that off next time.

[#] Thu May 24 2012 10:03:14 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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I guess a Number Nine card wouldn't have been a winner?

[#] Thu May 24 2012 10:08:17 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Well, it would function as a wildcard, but a real hand would beat it out.

[#] Mon Sep 24 2012 13:36:48 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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Overheard today:

Q: How many union laborers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: The ENTIRE crew! And they all get time and a half for it!

[#] Sat Oct 27 2012 23:07:17 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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Q: what do Hurricane Sandy and and Snooki have in common?

A: they are both headed to the Jersey Shore with plans to blow everyone in a 50 mile radius.


[#] Mon Oct 29 2012 12:32:45 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Ouch...

[#] Tue Mar 19 2013 23:27:43 EDT from vince-q @ Uncensored

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Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic?

 

A: Only 600 women went down on the Titanic.....



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