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[#] Wed Apr 08 2009 23:14:06 EDT from Ford II @ Uncensored

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Now THAT is a good idea.

[#] Thu Apr 09 2009 12:55:47 EDT from BOFHMike @ My Castle Wall

Subject: good laugh on craigs list

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someone forwarded me this link.. I think everyone else should enjoy as well..  Too bad the posting this fellow repied to is gone.

 http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/w4m/1114112814.html



[#] Thu Apr 09 2009 13:46:51 EDT from athos-mn @ Uncensored

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I know when they first went for sale in Canada, there was a small rash of smart-tippings, but they were all parked at the time. I've seen them go on their side much eaiser in crash test videos, but not by just swerving. I would imagine the electronic stability program would kick in and kill the power as soon as the wheels started to life.

[#] Fri Apr 10 2009 04:33:58 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

Subject: Re: good laugh on craigs list

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Flagged for removal. :( What was it?

[#] Fri Apr 10 2009 08:41:25 EDT from BOFHMike @ My Castle Wall

Subject: Re: good laugh on craigs list

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Fri Apr 10 2009 04:33:58 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar@uncnsrd (Uncensored)
Subject: Re: good laugh on craigs list

Flagged for removal. :( What was it?

Damn, I should have saved the text.  I have the photo on my work machine, so Monday I'll toss that up here.  I may even have the page cached....  See what I can find.

[#] Fri Apr 10 2009 16:01:42 EDT from Ford II @ Uncensored

Subject: Re: good laugh on craigs list

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no google cache either.

[#] Sun Apr 19 2009 12:18:38 EDT from Ragnar Danneskjold @ Uncensored

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What's the smartest thing to come out of a woman's mouth?


Einstein's cock.


(Sorry ladies, but that's funny right there.)

[#] Thu Apr 23 2009 00:15:44 EDT from simplygorgeous @ My Castle Wall

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Sun Apr 19 2009 12:18:38 EDT from Ragnar Danneskjold@uncnsrd (Uncensored)

What's the smartest thing to come out of a woman's mouth?


Einstein's cock.


(Sorry ladies, but that's funny right there.)

well that;s not very nice .......

[#] Thu Apr 23 2009 00:16:22 EDT from simplygorgeous @ My Castle Wall

Subject: One for the ladies

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1. Men are like Laxative
They irritate the crap out of you..

2 Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.





3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.



4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.



5. Men are like Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like Commercials . You can't believe a word they say.


7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!


8. Men are like . Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.



9. Men are like .Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.


10. Men are like Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.


13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

[#] Thu Apr 23 2009 11:14:14 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

Subject: Re: One for the ladies

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Women are like the stock market
They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

Women are like computers
They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

Women are like Saran Wrap
Useful but clingy.

Women are like horses
Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

Women are like parking meters
If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

Women are like fax machines
Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

Women are like political campaign contributors
If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

Women are like refrigerators
They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

Women are like blue jeans
They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

Women
are like country western songs
They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.

[#] Fri Apr 24 2009 16:57:45 EDT from Ragnar Danneskjold @ Uncensored

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The Lexington , KY Police Department reports finding a man's body in the
Kentucky River just west of the Clays Ferry Bridge . The dead man's name will
not be released until his family has been notified.

The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption. He was wearing
black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a strap-on dildo, and an Obama
t-shirt. He also had a cucumber stuffed up his rectum.

The police removed the Obama t-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary
embarrassment.

Police do care!≈

[#] Thu May 14 2009 10:13:28 EDT from skpacman @ Uncensored

Subject: Drinking for two..

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A man sits down at a bar looking angry and depressed.

He orders a tall beer and a shot of whiskey. He promptly chugs the beer and pours the shot in his shirt pocket.

The man orders 3 more rounds. Each time repeating what he had done before; chugs the beer and pours the shot in his shirt pocket.

The bartender notices the man's shirt isn't one bit wet. He curiously asks the man at the bar "Uh, sir? Why I noticed you're drinking quite a bit... is something wrong?"

The man answers "Nothing of concequence for you, ANOTHER ROUND!!!" The man repeats his drinking process once more.

The bartender asks, "Why isn't your shirt getting wet? You've poured 5 shots into that pocket!"

The man answers angrily, "That's none of your damn business!!!"

And a mouse pops out of his shirt pocket, the mouse says "And that goes for your cat too!!!!"



[#] Fri May 15 2009 23:10:39 EDT from Ford II @ Uncensored

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I don't get it.

[#] Sat May 16 2009 09:01:40 EDT from Freakdog @ Dog Pound BBS II

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The cat would have come after the mouse...so the mouse was telling the bartender to keep the cat out of it.

[#] Sun May 17 2009 22:51:04 EDT from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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Few jokes become funny after being explained.

[#] Mon May 18 2009 06:59:36 EDT from girthta @ Uncensored

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It probably would have been funnier if it were funny.



[#] Mon May 18 2009 10:32:10 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Tough crowd.

[#] Mon May 18 2009 10:45:45 EDT from skpacman @ Uncensored

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-.- i guess im not that funny

i got some others that are funnier but i'm to lazy to type all of it... some are really long.. here's a couple short, even less funny, ones for you-

Would a jewish ninja use a throwing-star-of-david?

"A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says, 'Cheese sandwitch - $2 |  Hand jobs - $10'. The man asks the waitress 'Excuse me miss, are you the lady that gives the hand jobs?', she says 'Yes I am.' The man says 'Well, Wash those hands and fix me a cheese sandwitch!'"

After a cat licks their ass, what's with that weird, far-off stare they give you?


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try misssing a few car payments... they'll find you.

"During a war (not naming any names here) i was stationed in Puson, Korea. I was on break, in a bar, in the middle of nowhere, when the bar phone rings. The bartender picks it up and says, 'Hey, You at the bar, are you Mark Sweenie???' i reply 'Yeah, why?!' 'phone for you'  i pick up the phone 'Hello?' on the other end i hear 'Hello, This is Jennie with Sally May Student Loans, I was looking over your account and you have a past due amount of-' I interrupted her 'Whoa, how did you find me?!' --'Well, we matched your DNA up to the spit we found on a beer bottle in the philipines"  - Mark Sweenie, "A testament to student loans...."



[#] Mon May 18 2009 11:00:44 EDT from fleeb @ Uncensored

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That cat one was amusing to me.

[#] Mon May 18 2009 23:51:10 EDT from Ford II @ Uncensored

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Few jokes become funny after being explained.

Now that it was explained to me, and I still don't get it, it's still not funny.

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