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[#] Thu Mar 05 2009 21:30:06 EST from rod @ Uncensored

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All the lithotabs and smack in the world couldn't make that funny.

[#] Thu Mar 05 2009 21:49:35 EST from simplygorgeous @ My Castle Wall

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Thu Mar 05 2009 09:30:06 PM EST from rod@uncnsrd (Uncensored)

All the lithotabs and smack in the world couldn't make that funny.
not even a little ?

[#] Thu Mar 05 2009 22:13:35 EST from rod @ Uncensored

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Only if I tripped off into the spirit world and a coked out Richard Pryor told it.

[#] Thu Mar 05 2009 22:44:26 EST from simplygorgeous @ My Castle Wall

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Thu Mar 05 2009 10:13:35 PM EST from rod@uncnsrd (Uncensored)

Only if I tripped off into the spirit world and a coked out Richard Pryor told it.

 

 

yes it would be absolutly hillarious then ................grumbles offfff ...my joke was so funny mr .......



[#] Fri Mar 06 2009 07:29:16 EST from BOFHMike @ My Castle Wall

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Thu Mar 05 2009 21:49:35 EST from simplygorgeous@mycastlewall


Thu Mar 05 2009 09:30:06 PM EST from rod@uncnsrd (Uncensored)

All the lithotabs and smack in the world couldn't make that funny.
not even a little ?

Even My yokes are better than that.... ;)

[#] Fri Mar 06 2009 09:16:32 EST from rod @ Uncensored

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"EGG-CELLENT...."


[#] Sat Mar 07 2009 10:48:22 EST from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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(that made it funny ... maybe)

[#] Sat Mar 07 2009 12:52:07 EST from rudolf @ Uncensored

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So the yolk's on you? :)



[#] Sat Mar 07 2009 13:47:12 EST from triLcat @ Uncensored

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egg-zactly



[#] Sat Mar 07 2009 14:51:01 EST from fleeb @ Uncensored

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Sat Mar 07 2009 10:48:22 EST from IGnatius T Foobar <>
(that made it funny ... maybe)

It's more amusing in the web client, where it looks like a pregnant woman in profile.



[#] Sat Mar 07 2009 17:22:18 EST from simplygorgeous @ My Castle Wall

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see my stupid joke did work after all ........lmoa .....

how Egg-citing



[#] Sun Mar 08 2009 19:40:09 EDT from simplygorgeous @ My Castle Wall

Subject: better than my chicken joke

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A SHORT LOVE STORY


A man and a woman, who had never met before, 
But who were both married to other people,
Found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, 
They were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,..........   'Ma'am,


 I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? 

 
I'm awfully cold.'
 
 'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!' he exclaimed.

 'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own  f#$%ing blanket.'
 

 After a moment of silence, .......................he farted.


The End



[#] Sun Mar 08 2009 19:43:05 EDT from simplygorgeous @ My Castle Wall

Subject: yep im an australian

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WRIGLEY'S CHEWING GUM!

An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.

The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Australian folk eat the whole bread?'

The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, 'of course.'

The American blew a huge bubble. 'We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia.'

The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in silence.

The American persisted, 'D'ya eat jam with your bread?' Sighing, the Australian replied, 'of course.'

Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, 'we don't.

In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and the leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Australia.

The Australian then asked, 'Do you have sex in the States?'

The American smiled and said 'Why of course we do.' The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?'

'We throw them away, of course!'

Now it was the Australians turn to smile.

'We don't. In Australia, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States. Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?'


[#] Mon Mar 09 2009 10:13:03 EDT from BOFHMike @ My Castle Wall

Subject: Re:yep im an australian

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Sun Mar 08 2009 19:43:05 EDT from simplygorgeous@mycastlewall
Subject: yep im an australian


'We don't. In Australia, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States. Why do you think it's called Wrigley's?'
That's funny!

[#] Mon Mar 09 2009 10:13:35 EDT from BOFHMike @ My Castle Wall

Subject: Re:better than my chicken joke

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Sun Mar 08 2009 19:40:09 EDT from simplygorgeous@mycastlewall
Subject: better than my chicken joke


 f#$%ing blanket.'
 
Love it!



[#] Tue Mar 17 2009 19:04:31 EDT from simplygorgeous @ My Castle Wall

Subject: elmo

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Tickle Me Elmo:

There is a factory in Northern N.S..W which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am .

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.


The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.

She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena .

'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...'


'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles
.

[#] Wed Mar 18 2009 11:01:02 EDT from BOFHMike @ My Castle Wall

Subject: Next Promotion

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A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.

“What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?” asked the Rabbi.

“Well, I’m next in line for the Monsignor’s job.” replied the Priest.

“Yes, and then what?” asked the Rabbi.

“Well, next I can become Arch-Bishop.” said the Priest.

“Yes, and then?” asked the Rabbi.

“If I work real hard and do a good job as Arch-Bishop, it’s possible for me to become a full Bishop.” said the Priest.

“O.K., then what?” asked the Rabbi.

The Priest, begining to get a bit exasperated replied, “With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal.”

“And then?” asked the Rabbi.

The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, “With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I’m in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope.”

“Yes, and then what?” asked the Rabbi.

“Good grief!” shouted the Priest. “What do you expect me to become, GOD?”

“Well,” said the Rabbi, “One of our boys made it!”



[#] Sun Mar 22 2009 00:48:06 EDT from rod @ Uncensored

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Q: How many Marxists does it take to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies?
A: Ten .... One to 'supervise' the workers, one to make the batter, and
eight to peel the smarties.

[#] Sun Mar 22 2009 09:22:31 EDT from Freakdog @ Dog Pound BBS II

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*snicker*

[#] Tue Mar 24 2009 07:58:17 EDT from triLcat @ Uncensored

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Change You Can Believe in: Letter from the Boss: As the CEO of this business that employs 140 people, I have accepted the fact that Barack Obama is our new President, and that our taxes and government fees will now increase in a BIG way. To compensate for this additional overhead, I figure that the clients will have to see an increase in our fees of about 8%. However, since we cannot raise those prices right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we will have to lay off several of our employees instead. This unfortunate economic reality has really been eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here, and I didn't know how to choose who will have to go. After giving it considerable thought, this is what I did: I strolled through our parking lot, found 11 Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars, and have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They wanted change; I gave it to them. If you have a better idea, let me know. Sincerely, The Boss

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