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[#] Mon Oct 30 2006 15:04:50 EST from wabewalker @ Uncensored

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Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today's world you need a domain name.  
It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as others see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn't give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name wait for it is
http://www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
http://www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at:
http://www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at:
http://www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company:
http://www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
http://www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always
http://www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church Their website is
http://www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there's the Speed of Art brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
http://www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe ? Try their brochure website at
http://www.gotahoe.com


[#] Mon Oct 30 2006 15:38:36 EST from mosephine @ Uncensored

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oh, gods... i'm trying not to bust out laughing at work ;)

[#] Tue Oct 31 2006 12:09:14 EST from curly surmudgeon @ Dog Pound BBS II

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1. BLIND FAITH IN BAD LEADERSHIP IS NOT PATRIOTISM
2. IF YOU'RE NOT OUTRAGED, YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION
3. IF YOU SUPPORTED BUSH, A YELLOW RIBBON WON'T MAKE UP FOR IT
4. POVERTY, HEALTH CARE, & HOMELESSNESS ARE MORAL ISSUES
5. OF COURSE IT HURTS. YOU'RE GETTING SCREWED BY AN ELEPHANT
6. BUSH LIED, AND YOU KNOW IT
7. RELIGIOUS FUNDAMENTALISM: A THREAT ABROAD, A THREAT AT HOME
8. GOD BLESS EVERYONE (No exceptions)
9. BUSH SPENT YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY ON HIS WAR
10. PRO AMERICA, ANTI BUSH
11. WHO WOULD JESUS BOMB?
12. IF YOU SUPPORT BUSH'S WAR, WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? SHUT UP AND SHIP OUT
13. FEEL SAFER NOW?
14. I'D RATHER HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO SCREWED HIS INTERN THAN ONE WHO SCREWED HIS
COUNTRY
15. JESUS WAS A SOCIAL ACTIVIST -- THAT IS A LIBERAL
16. MY VALUES? FREE SPEECH. EQUALITY. LIBERTY. EDUCATION. TOLERANCE.
17. IS IT 2008 YET?
18. "DISSENT IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF PATRIOTISM." --
Thomas Jefferson
19. DON'T BLAME ME. I VOTED AGAINST BUSH -- TWICE!
20. ANNOY A CONSERVATIVE: THINK FOR YOURSELF
21. VISUALIZE IMPEACHMENT
22. HEY BUSH! WHERE'S BIN LADEN?
23. CORPORATE MEDIA = MASS MIND CONTROL
24. STOP MAD COWBOY DISEASE
25. GEORGE W. BUSH: MAKING TERRORISTS FASTER THAN HE CAN KILL THEM
26. KEEP YOUR THEOCRACY OFF MY DEMOCRACY
27. DEMOCRATS ARE SEXY. WHOEVER HEARD OF A GOOD PIECE OF ELEPHANT?
28. ASPIRING CANADIAN
29. CORPORATE MEDIA: WEAPONS OF MASS DECEPTION
30. DON'T CONFUSE DYING FOR OIL WITH FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM
31. STEM CELL RESEARCH IS PRO LIFE
32. HATE, GREED, IGNORANCE: WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION
33. HONOR OUR TROOPS: DEMAND THE TRUTH
34. REBUILD IRAQ? WHY NOT SPEND 87 BILLION ON AMERICA?
35. FACT: BUSH OIL 1999 - $19 BARREL, 2006 - $70 BARREL
36. THE LAST TIME RELIGION CONTROLLED POLITICS, PEOPLE GOT BURNED AT THE STAKE
37. I'LL GIVE UP MY CHOICE WHEN JOHN ROBERTS GETS PREGNANT
38. HOW ON EARTH CAN 59,411,287 PEOPLE BE SO DUMB?

[#] Tue Oct 31 2006 11:41:38 EST from wabewalker @ Uncensored

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An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. One day he decided that he would love to plant potatoes and herbs in his garden, but he knew he was alone and too old and weak. His son was in college in Paris, so the old man sent him an e-mail explaining the problem:

"Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, that you would help me and dig up the garden for me. I love you, your father."

The following day, the old man received a response e-mail from his son:

"Beloved father, please don't touch the garden. That is where I have hidden 'the *THING*.' I love you, too, Ahmed."

At 4pm the FBI and the Rangers visited the house of the old man and took the whole garden apart, searching every inch. But they couldn't find anything. Disappointed, they left the house.

The next day, the old man received another e-mail from his son:
"Beloved father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes, that is all I could do for you from here; Your loving son Ahmed.

[#] Tue Oct 31 2006 11:46:05 EST from wabewalker @ Uncensored

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Donald Rumsfeld briefed President Bush this morning. He told the President that 3 Brazilian soldiers had been killed in Iraq.
To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from President Bush's face, then he collapsed on his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering.
Finally he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

[#] Tue Oct 31 2006 12:19:22 EST from Peter Pulse @ Uncensored

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Good one wabe! :)

[#] Tue Oct 31 2006 13:42:57 EST from Avalondaughter @ Uncensored

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A man walked into a bar

 

OW!



[#] Tue Oct 31 2006 14:42:41 EST from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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That gag never gets old. :)

[#] Tue Oct 31 2006 15:25:19 EST from IGnatius T Foobar @ Uncensored

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When Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb, he had trouble
selling it. People just didn't trust this "new" way of
making light. In order to promote his idea he decided to go
around the country installing lights in different towns in
order to drum up publicity. While in Oklahoma, Edison
stopped by an Indian reservation and offered to put lights
in any building they wanted. After much thought the Indian
chief decided that he wanted lights in his outhouse, so he
could see what he was doing at night. This made him the
first man to wire a head for a reservation!

[#] Wed Nov 01 2006 13:36:24 EST from wabewalker @ Uncensored

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Dubya, Laura and Big Dick are flying back to Washington on Air Force One. Laura and Dick are lost in their own thoughts, while George is looking out the window at the landscape passing by below. He absently remarks to the other two: “Ya know, I could throw ten thousand dollar bills out of this plane and make ten people down there purty happy.”

Laura replies, “Well, George, I guess thats true…and I could throw a hundred hundred dollar bills out and make a hundred people down there pretty happy.”

To which Dick adds, “Yes, and I could throw a thousand ten dollar bills out and make a thousand people down there happy.”

The pilot, whos overheard all this, turns to his co-pilot. “Bigshots, huh?” he chuckles, “I could throw all three of ‘em out of this plane right now and make billions of people happy!”

[#] Fri Nov 03 2006 11:56:43 EST from wabewalker @ Uncensored

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A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynecologist."

The proctologist fainted.

[#] Fri Nov 03 2006 12:49:54 EST from Ladyhawke @ Uncensored

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hehehe.....


[#] Mon Nov 06 2006 14:19:45 EST from wabewalker @ Uncensored

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Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues.  Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.  We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.  Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
 
1.    Try Saying:    I think you could do with moretraining
    Instead Of:    You don't have a fucking clue, do you?

2.      Try Saying:    She's an aggressive go-getter.
    Instead Of:    She's a fucking power-crazy bitch!

3.    Try Saying:    Perhaps I can work late
    Instead Of:    And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

4.      Try Saying:    I'm certain that isn't feasible
    Instead Of:    Fuck off asswipe

5.    Try Saying:    Really?
    Instead Of:    Well fuck me backwards with a telegraph pole

6.    Try Saying:    Perhaps you should check with...
    Instead Of:    Tell someone who gives a fuck.

7.    Try Saying:    I wasn't involved in the project.
    Instead Of:    Not my fucking problem, mate.

8.    Try Saying:    That's interesting.
    Instead Of:    What the fuck?

9.    Try Saying:    I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.
    Instead Of:    No fucking chance mate.

10.    Try Saying:    It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in
    Instead Of:    Why the fuck didn't you tell me that yesterday?

11.    Try Saying:    He's not familiar with the issues
    Instead Of:    He's got his head up his fucking ass.

12.    Try Saying:    Excuse me, sir?
    Instead Of:    Oi, fuck face.

13.    Try Saying:    Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway
    Instead Of:    Yeah, who needs fucking holidays anyway.

Thank You,
Human Resources


[#] Mon Nov 06 2006 15:00:50 EST from Grey Elf @ Uncensored

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15. Try Saying: "We appreciate your business, have a great day!"
Instead of: "Oi! Fucking die in a car fire you fucking cock."

[#] Mon Nov 06 2006 15:01:28 EST from Grey Elf @ Uncensored

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Whats the difference between a jewish mother and a pitbull?
The pitbull will eventually let go.

Whats the difference between a jewish woman and 747?
The 747 will stop whining once it lands in Miami.

[#] Mon Nov 06 2006 15:20:21 EST from Ladyhawke @ Uncensored

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So will the Jewish woman, if you provide enough good food.  ;-)


[#] Mon Nov 06 2006 15:43:30 EST from Grey Elf @ Uncensored

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Eat shit and die.

[#] Mon Nov 06 2006 17:47:41 EST from Ladyhawke @ Uncensored

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dammit, Grelf, I said you had to provide *good* food!


[#] Tue Nov 07 2006 09:59:43 EST from roue @ Dog Pound BBS II

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"consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds" - Emerson.

[#] Wed Nov 08 2006 20:05:33 EST from curly surmudgeon @ Dog Pound BBS II

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http://tinyurl.com/y4o6qj

News article, work safe.

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